Physician dropped me

I had the shock of a life time. My rheumatologist dropped me as a patient. I found out when I needed prescription refilled and they wouldn't do it.
I didn't see my doctor that day. I saw her PA. Now her PA either doesn't care or she's just over whelmed with patients.
Her name is Bethany Kerwood. It takes on average 3 - 7 days for her to refill medication even when given the 72 hr notice from the pharmacy.
When I had an appointment with her (my doctor was on vacation), she snapped at me when I asked if she could give one refill, ONE REFILL, on my medication. She said she couldn't. It was against the law. I replied that my doctor did it all the time. That's when she snapped. She said something to the effect that because she's a PA, she couldn't do it.
I only asked because of my past experience with her not filling my medication on time. I mean, who prescribes a medication and when you run out, the physician makes you wait 3 - 7 days before refilling it? To me, that's just very bad practicing.
When she left the office, she said she would ask my doctor about a cream for my neck. That's the last contact I had. When the nurse came in, I told her I didn't ever want to see Bethany again. Then the nurse, Susan, and I talked about other stuff. I made another appointment to see my doctor but couldn't get in until December.
A week later, I had the pharmacy send in a request for a refill. The refill came in for half the dosage. So I called the doctors office and left a message for the nurse asking if the dosage had been changed.
I got a returned call telling me my rheumatologist dropped me as a patient. I was shocked! I was told a letter had been sent to me. I told her I've not received a letter. So she read a copy to me. Again I was shocked! I asked for another to be sent and I also left a message for the office manager.
Later that day he called me. He said a copy of the letter had already been sent in the mail for me. He said since he was not there to witness what happened, there was little he could do. I wished my doctor the best and that was that.
I was angry and hurt. I wasn't asked what happened that day. Just dropped. My rheumatologist is the best in the state. So I know there was no reason to try and find another.
I went online to write a review. Low and behold I am not the only person who had trouble getting medication filled on time and not the only person who's phone calls weren't returned. So that was a bit of validation for me.
I left my review and haven't looked back.

No one besides yourself should take top priority in your health. When something isn't right, you speak up. If you don't, physicians can do whatever they please regarding your health. I'm writing this to let other's know, if you believe your health care isn't going the way it should, you need to say something about it. But know that speaking up could lose you a doctor. But your health isn't going to get better by kissing ass.
Luckily, I have a family physician who knows all about my fibro and degenerative disc disease. So it wasn't too big a loss.

It's now the 14th and I still do not have any energy. I walked around Carowinds on Saturday night for Scarowinds. No rides. Just walking and going through haunted houses. I am so so tired. My cats need food and I'm too exhausted to get in the car to go get it.
If I could just have some energy. Just a little. Please God. Just give me some energy.

Do you ever feel sometimes so drained that even thinking about what you need to do exhausts you? I look at all the cleaning that needs to be done and I want to crawl under a rock.
When this happens, I'm reminded of the commercial "a body at rest tends to stay at rest but a body in motion tends to stay in motion."
Well, sometimes I can't even get my body in motion. Even picking up the food bowls for my dogs exhausts me. I'm not caring for my cats as I should. I don't go outside and spend time with them. I have 6 foster cats and I definitely don't spend the time with them that I should.
My neck has been hurting for just over a month. It doesn't hurt as bad now. It's tolerable. The pain in between my shoulder blades is now dull. My lower back stays a bit sore. My knees don't work and my hands stay stiff.
I try to tell myself it doesn't hurt that bad. I know the pain is multiplied because of my fibro.
I'm not motivated to do anything. My rheumatologist let me go because I questioned her PA about why it takes her 3 - 7 days to refill my meds. Even when given the 72 hr notice before running out.
I was upset that she let me go. But I felt better when I went on line for reviews and read that other's had the same problems as I did with this office.
So my regular doctor is going to continue treating my fibro.

And some how, some way, I caught some germs from some one. My nose has been stopped up for two days now. And I've started feeling yucky.
I do have some great news! After spending some time with my niece and her family (they recently moved here to NC), I was told my brother who resides in Alaska, will be coming here for a visit in December. He's going to help fix a few things around the house for me. I'm super stoked that I will be spending Christmas with him. That hasn't happened since 1983. And at least I know I have a couple of months to get my house clean and organized.

I hope every one else who has fibro a wonderful and pain free day!

Moving day

I have been going non stop for over thirteen hours.  My g/f moved out today.  A friend came over last Saturday to help me switch stuff around.  Because of that, my neck has been pounding, my lower back has been pounding and I've had zero energy all week.
Last night, he came over again to help move her stuff into the moving truck. We carried boxes and furniture downstairs. Things I had no business lifting. But I am the strongest so I had to do it.
Fast forward to today. I drove the truck and it was hell on my back. Three hours is much too long for me to sit. It was a crappy day, foggy, raining.
Thankfully I didn't have to unload the truck. But I did clean a room out and we'll skip the fact I found two dead mice. Poor babies.
Tomorrow I install an electrical line in that room, drive three hours home, another hour taking care of my animals and the fosters, hooking up the antenna to a tv in a different room and finally laying down on the couch to watch Big Brother.
Let's hope I have a shred of energy to do all this.

Damn Fibro helluva day

I love having animals and don't know where I'd be today without them.  At the moment, I also have some foster kittens that frankly, I've had far too long.  Illness after illness hit them.  But they are getting better.

It's taken a real toll on my health.  All the bending and having to get down to the floor and back up again.  I am reminded that it's why I stopped fostering over a year ago.
Today is bath day.  I can't seem to get more than one kitten bathed without having to stop and take a break before the next one.
My neck is killing me.  And since the spine specialist said the bulging disc in my neck isn't bad enough for surgery, I know it's the damn fibro!  My knees are hurting.  I won't know until I get my x-rays if they are bad or just bad because of the fibro.

So I beg and plead, to anyone and everyone, stop dumping your kittens at my house and when my fosters leave, please don't ask me to foster again.
I know it sounds harsh and unkind to ask.  But on days like this, when the pain is so bad not even my pain meds are working, I can't take it.  It's not fair for the fosters and it's certainly not fair to my own babies who I don't spend enough time with when I have fosters.

I will kick Fibro's ass one day.  One day I will be better.  And when I am, I'm coming after you fibro!

Social Security Disability review

I got my first SSDI review in the mail.  Only a few questions.  'Course, my answers depend on whether or not they do a full scale review. I gave them permission to request my medical file.  We'll see what happens next.  All I know is this damn fibro makes it all hurt so much more and I'm sick of it!

Garden duty

I had every intention of weeding my garden today.  But once I got out there, my body told me "no way lady" and I headed back in.
I know I still have it good compared to others.  But I absolutely hate when the fibro dictates what I can and can not do!

One of those damn fibro days

I have ZERO energy today.  My hands are so friggin' stiff and I need to make berry jelly today.  Sometimes the process of the day just wears you out:
get berries out of fridge, go sit down, go pick ripe berries, go sit down, feed Pookie (foster kitten), go sit down, get pots and pans out, go sit down and it goes on and on.

I do have good news however.  I saw my Rheumatologist yesterday and she did order a special x-ray of my knees.  She also put an injection in both my shoulder muscles.  Now, I wasn't too thrilled about this.  It's funny now, but it sure wasn't funny yesterday!

Doc:  Have we ever tried (garble garble)
Me:  What's that?
Doc:  Injections
Me:  NO NO NO NO NO
Doc:  It won't hurt
Me:  NO NO
Doc:  (putting her hands on my shoulders and looking right at me)  C'mon, can't you let the big girl out today?
Me:  Today?  You want to do it today?
Doc:  Yes.  Now let your big girl out
Me:  How big are the needles?
Doc:  I'll show them to you  (leaves room and comes back, shows me the needle)
Me:  (voice cracking)  How much of that are you sticking in me?
Doc:  Just this much (very little)
Me:  (Sighs heavily) Ok
She starts to spray this cold stuff on the first shoulder
Me:  That's cold
Doc:  I'm numbing you
Me:  You are?
Doc:  Did you think I was just going to jam a needle in you?
Then she jams the needle in.
Me:  screaming OWWWW! as my left leg shoots straight out.  I thought you said you were numbing it?
Doc:  I did

Ha ha ha ha ha  She then did the other shoulder but I was at least ready for it.

I also told her how angry I've been since seeing the spine specialist and being told I wasn't a good surgical candidate.  I told her I couldn't stand this fibro shit.  Unlike some other folks, my doctor is very kind and compassionate.
I wish every fibro infected person to have such a doctor.  I hope your search is successful.  I can't imagine not having my Rheumatologist.

Yard day

My day started with good intentions.
1.  Feed my foster kitties
2.  Fix the blow up pool
3.  Weed the garden
What I did:  fed my foster kitties, cleaned a small area of the rug where they are at, fixed the blow up pool, spoke with the neighbors, pulled some weeds up around my back porch, let my dogs run in the back yard, picked up the never ending glass that seems to grow in the garden with each rain storm, fed my foster kitties again.  When my back and right knee gave out, I decided it was time to quit.

My yard needs to be mowed.  I have a few trees coming up in odd places I need to cut down.  My garden looks like a yard again because of all the weeds and grass that sprung up after four days of rain.  My own cats area under the house needs to be cleaned.  My house needs to be cleaned.

As I sit here, my hands throb, my feet throb, my knee hurts, my lower back hurts, my neck hurts and my left shoulder hurts.  My thighs feel weak.
That leaves my calves, my arms, my right shoulder and the front torso area.  I'm wondering if I cut off the parts that hurt, how much with what I'd have left of my body could I get the things done that need doing.

I need a Genie in a bottle.

Fibro is a Bitch!

How do you tell yourself "it doesn't hurt"?  How do you convince yourself that your fibro pain isn't real?  Can this be done?
I have a super wonderful rheumatologist.  She's ranked one of if not THE best in North Carolina.  I've had a hard time coming to terms with being diagnosed with fibromyalga.  I was diagnosed in the summer of 2009.  Prior to that, I had lived with degenerative disc disease for nearly twenty years.
Looking back, I can see the tell tale signs of fibro through my life.  It wasn't until two years ago that it really started to affect me.  My back feels completely destroyed by the pain I feel.  I had twenty years to gradually get use to it deteriorating.  But the fibro came on like a beast.
My rheumatologist is very patient with me.  When my neck started hurting, she sent me in for an MRI.  Yes, I had a bulging disc.  Nice.  I filed that away with my other bulging disc, herniated disc and lesions on my spine.  The pain in my neck became too much to bear.  So did my lower back.  She sent me to a Spine Specialist.
Guess what?  Nothing in my spine warrants surgery.  Fibro strikes again.
My hands are always stiff.  It's a struggle to get out of bed or even to stand when I've been sitting to watch a t.v. show or drive my car.  She did blood tests to check everything out and make sure I didn't have a type of arthritis.  Guess what?  She said my innards are perfectly fine and no arthritis.  Fibro strikes again.
I'm tired easily, most days have zero energy, thinking about what needs to get done around the house and yard makes me tired.
That damn fibro strikes again!  And again and again!
So the last thing I want checked out are my knees.  I'll know later this month just how patient she is!

I want to tell myself "it doesn't hurt as bad as you think" and then I become angry.  Very angry.  I want to scream "Why me?  What did I do to deserve this!" but the better part of me says "put your big girl panties on and deal with it".  As I'm writing this, and it's why I'm writing this, my lower back hurts so damn bad I want to scream and cry.  I want to lay down on the couch and watch movies the rest of the night.  But I look out my window and see my car, with the doors open, my fishing stuff sitting in the driveway, my cats being nosey and jumping in and out of my car.  And I remember I had a good day yesterday.  I was tired, but not much pain.
So I must tell myself it doesn't hurt so bad.  Of course, I'm also waiting for my pain medication to kick in so I can go clean up the mess outside.

How do you tell yourself it doesn't hurt?  How do you make yourself get the hell up and get going?  How do you trust the pain you have is actual pain and not that damn fibro?  Yes yes, I know fibro is pain.  But it's a manipulative pain.  It manipulates you into thinking you have pain when you don't.  It's sending signals to your whole body that you hurt or your tired.  That damn fibro is a Bitch.  And if she (I say she because only a she could manipulate someone this way), would take human form, I'd kick her ass!

Fibromyalgia and Social Security Disability

I thought this would be a great topic for my first post.  I have been diagnosed with Fibro for the past 4 yrs.  I already had applied for SSDI prior to being diagnosed.  The ruling came down and as I gave my affidavit over the phone, I told my attorney that I had been diagnosed the day before.  He included that information.  I can only assume the reason I've yet to get one of those reviews is because Fibro multiplies any and every thing wrong with you.

It's only been recently that I found a Facebook group about Fibro.  Maybe because it's only been recently that I needed validation for the way I've been feeling.  But that's a different post.  It's this particular FB page that made me want my first post to be about SSDI.  People have commented about the ads being posted regarding SSDI and how attorney's are trying to scare people.

Let me say it's not scary to apply for SSDI.  What is scary is when you get turned down or they take as long as possible allowed by law to make a decision.

Lets get all the negative feelings out right now.  After winning my claim, even after the whole process, the not knowing how to make my mortgage, not knowing how I was going to feed my animals and so on and so forth, I felt guilty for being disabled.  I was only in my early forty's and my mind has so much more life to live, even if my body was saying no!  I felt so guilty.  It took me several years to come to terms about it.  I had been working since the age of 14.  I served in the military.  I always had a full time job.  I always made a good salary and paid into the system.  
It's that last bit I continued thinking about.  I paid into the system.  It is a benefit I paid for, not an entitlement.  The guilt slowly went away.

It's not your fault you can't work.  They show these smiling and beautiful women on tv taking a specific pill once a day and how they can continue working with a smile on their face.

Ahem, bullshit.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way.

Everything you've heard or read about trying to get disability benefits are true.  People have lost their homes waiting to get the very thing they've paid all their lives into getting.  But it doesn't have to be that way.
From start to finish, it took me a year.  Now I'm not going to tell you that it will be that short of time for you.  I'm just telling you my story and how I received mine so quickly.

When I realized I would not be returning to work, not only did I have to prepare myself for what could be a long and lengthy battle, but I also had to prepare my mind for the sake of my own well being.  The latter was easier said (and to write!) than done.  But more on that later.

So here we go.  A step by step account of what I did and went through.

1.  I read the entire Social Security website and downloaded the forms I needed.  I filled all the forms out prior to submitting them.

2. I scoured the web and read any and all information I could regarding SSDI.  All websites from telling you what to do, what to expect down to what you are reading now, people's own personal stories regarding disability.

3. Having a copy of my medical records was a no brainer.  They give you a copy of your records when you leave the military.  Every doctor I've ever been to, I have a copy of the visit.  If you do not have a copy of yours, GET ONE!  Here's a tip:  When filling out the form requesting a copy, always check the box it's for another physician and always check the box you will pick them up and deliver to said doctor.

4.  Once you have a copy of your medical records, if you do not have a copy machine of your own, plan on spending some time at Kinko's or the library or some place else that has a copy machine and plan on having to pay to make another copy.  (You can always allow SS to request on your behalf but it will take longer on getting a decision from them).

5.  Once you have your records and you have filled out the disability forms, and you have copies of all the other records they ask for, if you have a Social Security office near you, go there to turn everything in.  Always triple check before you go that you have EVERYTHING they need a copy of.  If you do not have an office near you, you can mail the information in.  Send it receipt requested.
When you go online to their website, they will try and get you to do all of it online.  I don't recommend this.  Only do this as a last resort.

6.  Once you have applied for SSDI, it begins the waiting game.  I can tell you the horror stories you read online are very real.  All they have to do is deny your claim twice and it then goes to a judge.  Guess what?  Having your case read by a judge can take years!  This is why I said you need to mentally prepare yourself.  Continue reading up on how to appeal a denial.

7.  9 out of 10 claims get denied the first time.  Mine did.  As soon as I received the denial letter in the mail, I had the appeal paperwork ready to go.  Make sure you APPEAL the decision and not re-apply.  If you re-apply, you will drag it out even longer.

8.  Once you are denied the first time and you appeal the decision, SS will take all the time they can on getting back to you.  That time is 4 months.  You won't hear from them for 4 months.  During this time, you need to find the BEST SSDI attorney in your state.  Do your research.  Research is key.  Don't call them and make an appt.  Just research who the best is.

9.  7 out of 10 appeals get denied.  Mine did.  But I was ready.  I made the call.  I gave a quick medical history to the attorney and they made me an appointment.  When the appointment was made, I knew then I would get my disability because this attorney is the best in NC and he only takes on clients he knows he can win for.
Did you catch that last line?  Let me repeat it:  He is the best in NC and he only takes cases he knows he can win!  I did the research.  And I was lucky this attorney was a short 45 min. drive from my home.
You can have as many attorney's available to you so you can go down the list if one says they can't help you.  But if the top 2 attorneys say they can't help you, odds are they feel your medical condition is not going to get you disability.  If this happens, you have my sympathy.  I'm not saying to give up.  But the odds are not in your favor and you may be looking at an extremely long battle in getting your disability benefits.

You can use an attorney from start to finish.  Just know this.  Just because you use one from start to finish doesn't mean you won't get denied the first 2 times.  If you did your research, you already know this.  Using an attorney from start to finish just means they get more money up to a certain cap on your benefits.  Also, another reason you need your medical records.  Your attorney will need a copy!  A doctor's office will charge an attorney for copies of your medical file.  That charge in turn you will pay for.  Not only will the attorney get a percentage of your disability, he will also get any money above that in expenses he has incurred while handling your case.

10.  Your attorney will tell you that you are looking at 18 to 36 months before getting your disability.  Although this is true, if you got the best, he/she will be able to get your benefits much sooner.  My attorney knew because of the first letter in my last name, who the judge was that would be hearing my case and knew the judges clerk.  I hired my attorney in the month of April.  He held onto my file until June because a new law was going into affect and he wanted my case to be heard using the new law.  He submitted my file in June.  He gave the judges clerk time to check my file out.  My attorney spoke with the clerk.  The clerk knew because of my medical condition the judge would award my disability.  The clerk put a note on my file, put it on the judges desk, he read the note, skimmed my file, awarded me disability with an exception I was 'expected' to get better and for my case to be re-evaluated in 18 months.  

Do not let that last part scare you.  I've never been re-evaluated.  I know people who have been on it for years and they haven't been re-evaluated either.  I won and didn't have to go to court.  The day I won,  I had been diagnosed with Fibro the day before.  Bitter sweet to say the least.  But again, I believe the reason I've not been re-evaluated is because fibro makes everything wrong with you even worse.

Let's get right to the guts of it all.  If the only thing wrong with you is Fibromyalgia, and it's a recent diagnosis, according to the Social Security website, that does not fall under their definition of disability.
However, if Fibro is the only thing wrong with you and you have years of horrible medical history because of it and your doctor has known for awhile that you haven't been able to work because of it and that has been noted in your medical file, you may have a shot at winning disability.
If like me, you have been screwed up for years, have a long medical history and it's finally taken a toll on you, only to later be diagnosed with Fibro on top of it all, I hope you a speedy resolution in getting your disability the same quickness in which I received mine. 

Here are some links that proved invaluable to me when I was researching the in's and out's of Social Security Disability.  Bookmark this blog as the links do not open new windows.

Social Security <------  Social Security

Disability Secrets  <------(Read the blog, which is mostly on the left side, read ALL the info on this blog.  I'm not advising you to use their "talk to an attorney" ad.  This site, which was in a different format when I used it, helped me the most!)

Winning disability <------- Winning disability

Ultimate SSDI guide  <-----(this is another outstanding website)

Preparing for court  <----- Preparing for court

Do your own research.  I can't state this enough.  The more you know, the better armed you will be and the better your chance at winning.

Oh, and if anyone can tell me why my links are not showing up unless you hover over them, I'd greatly appreciate you letting me know.  I have 5 links above.