I love having animals and don't know where I'd be today without them. At the moment, I also have some foster kittens that frankly, I've had far too long. Illness after illness hit them. But they are getting better.
It's taken a real toll on my health. All the bending and having to get down to the floor and back up again. I am reminded that it's why I stopped fostering over a year ago.
Today is bath day. I can't seem to get more than one kitten bathed without having to stop and take a break before the next one.
My neck is killing me. And since the spine specialist said the bulging disc in my neck isn't bad enough for surgery, I know it's the damn fibro! My knees are hurting. I won't know until I get my x-rays if they are bad or just bad because of the fibro.
So I beg and plead, to anyone and everyone, stop dumping your kittens at my house and when my fosters leave, please don't ask me to foster again.
I know it sounds harsh and unkind to ask. But on days like this, when the pain is so bad not even my pain meds are working, I can't take it. It's not fair for the fosters and it's certainly not fair to my own babies who I don't spend enough time with when I have fosters.
I will kick Fibro's ass one day. One day I will be better. And when I am, I'm coming after you fibro!
Showing posts with label fibro pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fibro pain. Show all posts
Monday, July 1, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
One of those damn fibro days
I have ZERO energy today. My hands are so friggin' stiff and I need to make berry jelly today. Sometimes the process of the day just wears you out:
get berries out of fridge, go sit down, go pick ripe berries, go sit down, feed Pookie (foster kitten), go sit down, get pots and pans out, go sit down and it goes on and on.
I do have good news however. I saw my Rheumatologist yesterday and she did order a special x-ray of my knees. She also put an injection in both my shoulder muscles. Now, I wasn't too thrilled about this. It's funny now, but it sure wasn't funny yesterday!
Doc: Have we ever tried (garble garble)
Me: What's that?
Doc: Injections
Me: NO NO NO NO NO
Doc: It won't hurt
Me: NO NO
Doc: (putting her hands on my shoulders and looking right at me) C'mon, can't you let the big girl out today?
Me: Today? You want to do it today?
Doc: Yes. Now let your big girl out
Me: How big are the needles?
Doc: I'll show them to you (leaves room and comes back, shows me the needle)
Me: (voice cracking) How much of that are you sticking in me?
Doc: Just this much (very little)
Me: (Sighs heavily) Ok
She starts to spray this cold stuff on the first shoulder
Me: That's cold
Doc: I'm numbing you
Me: You are?
Doc: Did you think I was just going to jam a needle in you?
Then she jams the needle in.
Me: screaming OWWWW! as my left leg shoots straight out. I thought you said you were numbing it?
Doc: I did
Ha ha ha ha ha She then did the other shoulder but I was at least ready for it.
I also told her how angry I've been since seeing the spine specialist and being told I wasn't a good surgical candidate. I told her I couldn't stand this fibro shit. Unlike some other folks, my doctor is very kind and compassionate.
I wish every fibro infected person to have such a doctor. I hope your search is successful. I can't imagine not having my Rheumatologist.
get berries out of fridge, go sit down, go pick ripe berries, go sit down, feed Pookie (foster kitten), go sit down, get pots and pans out, go sit down and it goes on and on.
I do have good news however. I saw my Rheumatologist yesterday and she did order a special x-ray of my knees. She also put an injection in both my shoulder muscles. Now, I wasn't too thrilled about this. It's funny now, but it sure wasn't funny yesterday!
Doc: Have we ever tried (garble garble)
Me: What's that?
Doc: Injections
Me: NO NO NO NO NO
Doc: It won't hurt
Me: NO NO
Doc: (putting her hands on my shoulders and looking right at me) C'mon, can't you let the big girl out today?
Me: Today? You want to do it today?
Doc: Yes. Now let your big girl out
Me: How big are the needles?
Doc: I'll show them to you (leaves room and comes back, shows me the needle)
Me: (voice cracking) How much of that are you sticking in me?
Doc: Just this much (very little)
Me: (Sighs heavily) Ok
She starts to spray this cold stuff on the first shoulder
Me: That's cold
Doc: I'm numbing you
Me: You are?
Doc: Did you think I was just going to jam a needle in you?
Then she jams the needle in.
Me: screaming OWWWW! as my left leg shoots straight out. I thought you said you were numbing it?
Doc: I did
Ha ha ha ha ha She then did the other shoulder but I was at least ready for it.
I also told her how angry I've been since seeing the spine specialist and being told I wasn't a good surgical candidate. I told her I couldn't stand this fibro shit. Unlike some other folks, my doctor is very kind and compassionate.
I wish every fibro infected person to have such a doctor. I hope your search is successful. I can't imagine not having my Rheumatologist.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Fibro is a Bitch!
How do you tell yourself "it doesn't hurt"? How do you convince yourself that your fibro pain isn't real? Can this be done?
I have a super wonderful rheumatologist. She's ranked one of if not THE best in North Carolina. I've had a hard time coming to terms with being diagnosed with fibromyalga. I was diagnosed in the summer of 2009. Prior to that, I had lived with degenerative disc disease for nearly twenty years.
Looking back, I can see the tell tale signs of fibro through my life. It wasn't until two years ago that it really started to affect me. My back feels completely destroyed by the pain I feel. I had twenty years to gradually get use to it deteriorating. But the fibro came on like a beast.
My rheumatologist is very patient with me. When my neck started hurting, she sent me in for an MRI. Yes, I had a bulging disc. Nice. I filed that away with my other bulging disc, herniated disc and lesions on my spine. The pain in my neck became too much to bear. So did my lower back. She sent me to a Spine Specialist.
Guess what? Nothing in my spine warrants surgery. Fibro strikes again.
My hands are always stiff. It's a struggle to get out of bed or even to stand when I've been sitting to watch a t.v. show or drive my car. She did blood tests to check everything out and make sure I didn't have a type of arthritis. Guess what? She said my innards are perfectly fine and no arthritis. Fibro strikes again.
I'm tired easily, most days have zero energy, thinking about what needs to get done around the house and yard makes me tired.
That damn fibro strikes again! And again and again!
So the last thing I want checked out are my knees. I'll know later this month just how patient she is!
I want to tell myself "it doesn't hurt as bad as you think" and then I become angry. Very angry. I want to scream "Why me? What did I do to deserve this!" but the better part of me says "put your big girl panties on and deal with it". As I'm writing this, and it's why I'm writing this, my lower back hurts so damn bad I want to scream and cry. I want to lay down on the couch and watch movies the rest of the night. But I look out my window and see my car, with the doors open, my fishing stuff sitting in the driveway, my cats being nosey and jumping in and out of my car. And I remember I had a good day yesterday. I was tired, but not much pain.
So I must tell myself it doesn't hurt so bad. Of course, I'm also waiting for my pain medication to kick in so I can go clean up the mess outside.
How do you tell yourself it doesn't hurt? How do you make yourself get the hell up and get going? How do you trust the pain you have is actual pain and not that damn fibro? Yes yes, I know fibro is pain. But it's a manipulative pain. It manipulates you into thinking you have pain when you don't. It's sending signals to your whole body that you hurt or your tired. That damn fibro is a Bitch. And if she (I say she because only a she could manipulate someone this way), would take human form, I'd kick her ass!
I have a super wonderful rheumatologist. She's ranked one of if not THE best in North Carolina. I've had a hard time coming to terms with being diagnosed with fibromyalga. I was diagnosed in the summer of 2009. Prior to that, I had lived with degenerative disc disease for nearly twenty years.
Looking back, I can see the tell tale signs of fibro through my life. It wasn't until two years ago that it really started to affect me. My back feels completely destroyed by the pain I feel. I had twenty years to gradually get use to it deteriorating. But the fibro came on like a beast.
My rheumatologist is very patient with me. When my neck started hurting, she sent me in for an MRI. Yes, I had a bulging disc. Nice. I filed that away with my other bulging disc, herniated disc and lesions on my spine. The pain in my neck became too much to bear. So did my lower back. She sent me to a Spine Specialist.
Guess what? Nothing in my spine warrants surgery. Fibro strikes again.
My hands are always stiff. It's a struggle to get out of bed or even to stand when I've been sitting to watch a t.v. show or drive my car. She did blood tests to check everything out and make sure I didn't have a type of arthritis. Guess what? She said my innards are perfectly fine and no arthritis. Fibro strikes again.
I'm tired easily, most days have zero energy, thinking about what needs to get done around the house and yard makes me tired.
That damn fibro strikes again! And again and again!
So the last thing I want checked out are my knees. I'll know later this month just how patient she is!
I want to tell myself "it doesn't hurt as bad as you think" and then I become angry. Very angry. I want to scream "Why me? What did I do to deserve this!" but the better part of me says "put your big girl panties on and deal with it". As I'm writing this, and it's why I'm writing this, my lower back hurts so damn bad I want to scream and cry. I want to lay down on the couch and watch movies the rest of the night. But I look out my window and see my car, with the doors open, my fishing stuff sitting in the driveway, my cats being nosey and jumping in and out of my car. And I remember I had a good day yesterday. I was tired, but not much pain.
So I must tell myself it doesn't hurt so bad. Of course, I'm also waiting for my pain medication to kick in so I can go clean up the mess outside.
How do you tell yourself it doesn't hurt? How do you make yourself get the hell up and get going? How do you trust the pain you have is actual pain and not that damn fibro? Yes yes, I know fibro is pain. But it's a manipulative pain. It manipulates you into thinking you have pain when you don't. It's sending signals to your whole body that you hurt or your tired. That damn fibro is a Bitch. And if she (I say she because only a she could manipulate someone this way), would take human form, I'd kick her ass!
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