Physician dropped me

I had the shock of a life time. My rheumatologist dropped me as a patient. I found out when I needed prescription refilled and they wouldn't do it.
I didn't see my doctor that day. I saw her PA. Now her PA either doesn't care or she's just over whelmed with patients.
Her name is Bethany Kerwood. It takes on average 3 - 7 days for her to refill medication even when given the 72 hr notice from the pharmacy.
When I had an appointment with her (my doctor was on vacation), she snapped at me when I asked if she could give one refill, ONE REFILL, on my medication. She said she couldn't. It was against the law. I replied that my doctor did it all the time. That's when she snapped. She said something to the effect that because she's a PA, she couldn't do it.
I only asked because of my past experience with her not filling my medication on time. I mean, who prescribes a medication and when you run out, the physician makes you wait 3 - 7 days before refilling it? To me, that's just very bad practicing.
When she left the office, she said she would ask my doctor about a cream for my neck. That's the last contact I had. When the nurse came in, I told her I didn't ever want to see Bethany again. Then the nurse, Susan, and I talked about other stuff. I made another appointment to see my doctor but couldn't get in until December.
A week later, I had the pharmacy send in a request for a refill. The refill came in for half the dosage. So I called the doctors office and left a message for the nurse asking if the dosage had been changed.
I got a returned call telling me my rheumatologist dropped me as a patient. I was shocked! I was told a letter had been sent to me. I told her I've not received a letter. So she read a copy to me. Again I was shocked! I asked for another to be sent and I also left a message for the office manager.
Later that day he called me. He said a copy of the letter had already been sent in the mail for me. He said since he was not there to witness what happened, there was little he could do. I wished my doctor the best and that was that.
I was angry and hurt. I wasn't asked what happened that day. Just dropped. My rheumatologist is the best in the state. So I know there was no reason to try and find another.
I went online to write a review. Low and behold I am not the only person who had trouble getting medication filled on time and not the only person who's phone calls weren't returned. So that was a bit of validation for me.
I left my review and haven't looked back.

No one besides yourself should take top priority in your health. When something isn't right, you speak up. If you don't, physicians can do whatever they please regarding your health. I'm writing this to let other's know, if you believe your health care isn't going the way it should, you need to say something about it. But know that speaking up could lose you a doctor. But your health isn't going to get better by kissing ass.
Luckily, I have a family physician who knows all about my fibro and degenerative disc disease. So it wasn't too big a loss.

One of those damn fibro days

I have ZERO energy today.  My hands are so friggin' stiff and I need to make berry jelly today.  Sometimes the process of the day just wears you out:
get berries out of fridge, go sit down, go pick ripe berries, go sit down, feed Pookie (foster kitten), go sit down, get pots and pans out, go sit down and it goes on and on.

I do have good news however.  I saw my Rheumatologist yesterday and she did order a special x-ray of my knees.  She also put an injection in both my shoulder muscles.  Now, I wasn't too thrilled about this.  It's funny now, but it sure wasn't funny yesterday!

Doc:  Have we ever tried (garble garble)
Me:  What's that?
Doc:  Injections
Me:  NO NO NO NO NO
Doc:  It won't hurt
Me:  NO NO
Doc:  (putting her hands on my shoulders and looking right at me)  C'mon, can't you let the big girl out today?
Me:  Today?  You want to do it today?
Doc:  Yes.  Now let your big girl out
Me:  How big are the needles?
Doc:  I'll show them to you  (leaves room and comes back, shows me the needle)
Me:  (voice cracking)  How much of that are you sticking in me?
Doc:  Just this much (very little)
Me:  (Sighs heavily) Ok
She starts to spray this cold stuff on the first shoulder
Me:  That's cold
Doc:  I'm numbing you
Me:  You are?
Doc:  Did you think I was just going to jam a needle in you?
Then she jams the needle in.
Me:  screaming OWWWW! as my left leg shoots straight out.  I thought you said you were numbing it?
Doc:  I did

Ha ha ha ha ha  She then did the other shoulder but I was at least ready for it.

I also told her how angry I've been since seeing the spine specialist and being told I wasn't a good surgical candidate.  I told her I couldn't stand this fibro shit.  Unlike some other folks, my doctor is very kind and compassionate.
I wish every fibro infected person to have such a doctor.  I hope your search is successful.  I can't imagine not having my Rheumatologist.

Fibro is a Bitch!

How do you tell yourself "it doesn't hurt"?  How do you convince yourself that your fibro pain isn't real?  Can this be done?
I have a super wonderful rheumatologist.  She's ranked one of if not THE best in North Carolina.  I've had a hard time coming to terms with being diagnosed with fibromyalga.  I was diagnosed in the summer of 2009.  Prior to that, I had lived with degenerative disc disease for nearly twenty years.
Looking back, I can see the tell tale signs of fibro through my life.  It wasn't until two years ago that it really started to affect me.  My back feels completely destroyed by the pain I feel.  I had twenty years to gradually get use to it deteriorating.  But the fibro came on like a beast.
My rheumatologist is very patient with me.  When my neck started hurting, she sent me in for an MRI.  Yes, I had a bulging disc.  Nice.  I filed that away with my other bulging disc, herniated disc and lesions on my spine.  The pain in my neck became too much to bear.  So did my lower back.  She sent me to a Spine Specialist.
Guess what?  Nothing in my spine warrants surgery.  Fibro strikes again.
My hands are always stiff.  It's a struggle to get out of bed or even to stand when I've been sitting to watch a t.v. show or drive my car.  She did blood tests to check everything out and make sure I didn't have a type of arthritis.  Guess what?  She said my innards are perfectly fine and no arthritis.  Fibro strikes again.
I'm tired easily, most days have zero energy, thinking about what needs to get done around the house and yard makes me tired.
That damn fibro strikes again!  And again and again!
So the last thing I want checked out are my knees.  I'll know later this month just how patient she is!

I want to tell myself "it doesn't hurt as bad as you think" and then I become angry.  Very angry.  I want to scream "Why me?  What did I do to deserve this!" but the better part of me says "put your big girl panties on and deal with it".  As I'm writing this, and it's why I'm writing this, my lower back hurts so damn bad I want to scream and cry.  I want to lay down on the couch and watch movies the rest of the night.  But I look out my window and see my car, with the doors open, my fishing stuff sitting in the driveway, my cats being nosey and jumping in and out of my car.  And I remember I had a good day yesterday.  I was tired, but not much pain.
So I must tell myself it doesn't hurt so bad.  Of course, I'm also waiting for my pain medication to kick in so I can go clean up the mess outside.

How do you tell yourself it doesn't hurt?  How do you make yourself get the hell up and get going?  How do you trust the pain you have is actual pain and not that damn fibro?  Yes yes, I know fibro is pain.  But it's a manipulative pain.  It manipulates you into thinking you have pain when you don't.  It's sending signals to your whole body that you hurt or your tired.  That damn fibro is a Bitch.  And if she (I say she because only a she could manipulate someone this way), would take human form, I'd kick her ass!